A Certain Room

One day, as I quietly resisted the urge to vent messy spleen on my colleagues, realisation sprung full blown upon me about the nature of a certain room.

Its a square room, with plain quarter-circle cornice and dark grey glossy architraves and frames. The walls are off white with a hint of ocher; the floor is diagonally laid black and cream square tiles with a mat-red border of oblong tiles. Light glows softly from indirectly-recessed niches in the ceiling. There is a single window, a bay affair made from cyprus pine and sky blue toughened panes. The blue tinge to the glass makes the grassy sward vista appear impossibly green.

As I took note of the view, I noticed also that there seemed to be a crowd of people forming.... stopping seemingly at random on the sward and standing there stupidly, eyes gazing up towards me as if towards the ledge of a messiah.

Just below the window, set into the flawless cream wall, an oblong hatch was positioned above a tapering cone that appeared to disappear big-end-out through the wall. 

I puzzled over this for a minute or two, examining the strange contraption from several angles. My stomach rumbled alarmingly, and as I straightened up from my examination I noticed that the crowd down on the sward was now huge. 

That was it! That was when the realisation sprung.

Opening the hatch revealed the outside, the sward population all staring up with dumb expressions. Quickly I undid my pants, bent over and stuck my arse out of the hatch. With great relief I let forth a huge brraying jet of farts. 

"Suffer, you bastards!" I yelled, amplifying my voice through the convenient cone. "Suck it down!! Ahahahaa!!!"

Summoning my dignity, I stood straight, did up my pants, closed the hatch and departed the room, my work there done.

Ranted by Doomboy